"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27"

Monday, August 9, 2010

Learning to walk & talk again.

Had this scheduled for Sat but most of you know that story.. just figured I would go ahead and post it now..  trying to do things to get my mind off of things right now.

Some of you know my story but for those of you that don't I wrote about it here....This is my Story and here
Things have just been clicking with me lately and it is so amazing.  I have been doing my best to make sure I am doing my bible study, trying to read the Bible too, which I have still never finished, and just trying to learn everything I can.  I am so thankful for all the other Christian blogs out there that have kept me strong in this new walk.

Coming back to God is kind of like being a newborn.  Everything is exciting, so new!  It's like learning to talk and walk again.  Some days there are struggles and other days I just want to run around like a little giggling infant so happy and not really having a reason for it other than the wonderful peace and happiness I have finally found!  Wow!  What took me so long?  Why did I fight so much and never really just truly give myself over to Him?  Yeah at Falls Creek I got saved and really tried back then but it was nothing like it is now!  Plus back then I was always so much more worried about what other people thought of me instead of caring what God thought of me.  It should totally be the other way around!!  Everything you do should be for God not for man!!!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Colossians 3:23
Here's a verse that really does describe what it was like for me before...
New Living Translation (©2007)"I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to Himself through the loving mercy of Christ. You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News" Galatians 1:6

But just this past year, yep took me about 15 years, so sorry about that God!, I finally started getting back into church, finally found a church I love, and opening my heart, eyes, ears to The Lord!  Told Him that I was going to need some help and if He would please just teach me, come into my heart, I am Yours to do as You please!  Oh, don't get me wrong, I can still be that ignorant rebellious child that just doesn't want to listen!  This new walk is definitely hard sometimes.  I find if I don't wake up with some small or big prayer and if I don't do my studies, just kind of go on living as usual, not keeping Him up front in my mind and heart then things seem to go a little crazy!  I have to get that checked and stop it because that is just giving satan that foothold he needs to pull me right back down where he wants me to be.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

So yes, there is always that constant battle going on between God, myself and the devil.  At least so far God has won!!  He is always there to listen when I start getting that feeling I am doing wrong, not being a good mom, a tentative wife, not keeping the house perfect, I just have to pray about it and not get so down and depressed.  It is the devil whispering to me that I am not good enough but God knows I am!  He is the one that said,

  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I tend to turn to this verse constantly!  I even have it on a coin purse I made at ArtsCow
I love that verse because there are times when I wonder what I am doing, why am I here because it seems I can never do anything right... you know all the stuff the devil loves to hear?  If I go back to that verse and remember that God had a plan for us from the very beginning and if I just leave it up to Him and go with it then I will be fine!  That is something I do have to keep reminding myself almost everyday too.  Learning to just give up that control I love and just let go and let God.  I used to ask how am I supposed to do that and I am learning everyday, little by little just how to do that and to not worry about it so much.  Just have some faith in that part.  It is so easy to have that Faith in our Father and not in myself.  That is kind of disrespectful to The Lord because He doesn't create junk!  lol

Ok, sorry, this may not have flowed well, but was just something that came to mind and I just wanted to type it all out before it left and I got side tracked with food in the carpet, paint on the table, finding an apple left under a blanket and all the wonderful joys of being a mom! Pin It


Karen said...

Great post Nicole.. God has a lot in store for you..
Just keep looking ahead, and listening for that small still voice..
God Bless you and your family..

Nicole said...

Thank you Karen! I will keep trying..
although these past few days have been so muddled and crazy right now. I am still praying but have so much going on in my head i can't listen well right now.
I am so eager to write but just not for sure what to write about right now...
Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words!! =)

Eve said...

Nicole, you are a beautiful person. Blessed is the person who knows they are in need of the Lord. You are in my prayers, I'm wishing you all God's very very best.

Nicole said...

Thank you so much Eve!!! You don't know how much those words help....


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