Learning to be a {Good Wife}

I have been trying lately, after reading The Power of a Praying Wife and several other books, to be the wife my husband needs.  What I have learned though is that it’s not all about that.  Submitting to most, and used to be to me, is a bad word.  I also thought that all those verses were so awful, submitting in EVERYTHING!!  I would really get upset over that.  When he spoke hatefully to me, didn’t want to help out with certain things, all the excuses I gave to not submit. 

After reading more I have learned that we are not just submitting to our husbands but we are submitting to our Lord!  That is the most important part!  Doesn’t He deserve that from us!?!  After all He has done for us?   Believe me,  I’m still not perfect and will never be, but I am slowly learning and I think as long as I keep learning and trying then that is all He wants!

I am an Imperfect Wife!

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”  Ephesians 5:22-24

I got another wonderful devotional from the ladies at Girlfriends in God and I really loved the list Sharon gave from her book.  Here it is…

 The Power of a Woman's Words.
Sharon Jaynes
Words to Never Say to Your Husband
1.      I told you so.   
2.      You just don't think.  
3.      It's your fault.  
4.      What's wrong with you? 
5.      I can't do anything to please you.
6.      All you care about is yourself.  
7.      You never listen to me.  
8.      I don't know why I put up with you.  
9.      What do you want now?  
10.  How many times do I have to tell you?

Words Your Husband Longs to Hear

1. I've been thinking about you all day.
   
2. What can I do for you today? 
   
3. How can I pray for you today?
   
4. The best part of my day is when you come home.
   
5. You are one of God's most precious gifts to me. 
   
6. You are so wonderful.
   
7. You look so handsome today. 
   
8. I don't feel complete without you. 
   
9. I will always love you. 
   
10. I trust your decisions.

"A good wife is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds" Proverbs 31:10

The Heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:11-12

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AAA Club of Marriage by Sharon Jaynes

I got another wonderful devotional from Girlfriends in God the other !day and just wanted to share it with everyone!  They always have just great devotionals!

 

February 1, 2011
AAA Club of Marriage
Sharon Jaynes
Today's Truth
"And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband-that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly" (Ephesians 5:33 Amplified).
Friend To Friend
Are you a member of the Triple A Club of Marriage?  You didn't know there was such a thing?  Well, there's not an official one that you can call if your marriage breaks down, but I have one that I keep in the back of my mind.  It stands for adoration, admiration, and appreciation.  Did you know that big tough man of yours longs to be admired?  He desires for someone to think he's brave and brilliant, loving and logical, tough and tender, handsome and humorous, masculine and magical. That's the stuff of your man's dreams.   
What does it mean to adore your husband?  Basically, it means to love him with all your heart...and let him know about it. Someone once said, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved."   Do you want to see your husband's face light up like a full moon?  Tell him you are amazed that he knows how to ________ or that you are impressed by his _______, then sit back and watch him glow.
When the TV cameras pan the sidelines of a college football game, my heart always melts in a pool of butter when a young man waves his hand and says those precious two words: "Hi Mom."  It's almost like he's saying, "Look at me! Look at me!"  The truth is men want to be admired by the woman of their dreams.  It starts with mom, and then continues with the Misses.
Where does your husband go for adoration, admiration and appreciation?  He goes somewhere.  All men do.  Does he go to work in hopes of hearing "job well done"?  Does he go to the ball field in hopes of hearing "way to go man"?  Does he go back home to mother to hear "I'm so proud of you son"?  Does he work late in hopes of a few compliments from the gals in the office? Does he feast on compliments from patients or clients? Does he hang out at the gym flexing and building his biceps?  Tell me, where does your man go to be admired?
Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.  He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.  That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life.  Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband's existing achievements.  When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck.  A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.  For some men - those with fragile self-images - admiration also helps them believe in themselves.  Without it these men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings....While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them.  A man expects - and needs - his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan.  He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her." (Dr. Willard Harley, His Needs Her Needs (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Fleming H. Revell, 1986) p151.)
You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself.  So if he's looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership into the AAA Club of marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home. 
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be my husband's biggest fan.  Please help me restrain my critical tongue.  Help me to see him as You see Him...a child of the King.  I do so love my husband; help me to make sure that he knows just how much.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin giving them.  First and foremost, be authentic - be real.  If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell.  Start with one compliment or word of appreciation.  It may be as simple as "thank you." Soon the admiration will begin to flow...hopefully both ways.  Here are some ideas to get you started: 

• Place an "I love you sign in a public place." (I put a sign outside of my husband's office window to surprise him on Valentine's Day.  The fact that all his patients saw it was an extra boost!)
  
• Write him a love letter.
  
• Write an acrostic from A-Z of reasons you adore, admire, and appreciate him.
  
• Leave an "I love you" message on his voice mail.
  
• Write him a thank you note for something specific he did for you.

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Extravagant Worship

This is not my original post but one that I got from Girlfriends in God.  I get these everyday in my email.  This one just really touched me.  I want to be like Mary too!

Extravagant Worship 

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth "I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart" (Psalm 9:1 NIV).

Friend to Friend Mary of Bethany shares three scenes in the Bible with her sister Martha.  In her final appearance, we find her once again at a dinner party for Jesus.  As usual, the men are gathered around the table and the women are absent from the scene … that is until Mary enters the room …again.  Only this time she is not there to learn.  She is there to teach.
"Mary, don't forget to stir the lamb stew," Martha called from across the room.  "Our guests will be here any minute."
Once again, Martha and Mary were hosting a dinner party for Jesus and His closest friends.  The party was not at their home, but Simon had convinced Martha to be in charge of all the fixings.  After all, there was no one better at hosting a party than Martha.
But this was a special celebration - no ordinary dinner party.  Only months before, Martha and Mary had been mourning their brother, Lazarus' death.  And now?  And now, because of Jesus, Lazarus sat alive and well amongst his friends.  He was laughing and telling jokes like he'd never seen the inside of a darkened tomb for four days.  What a celebration!
How kind of Simon the leper to open his home to us, Mary mused.  Oh, we must do something about his name.  After all, he doesn't have leprosy any longer.  Jesus healed him months ago.  Just look at his skin-as smooth as a newborn babe's.  After all, if he was still Simon the leper, none of us would be here.
As Mary continued to stir the stew, her mind began to stir with memories of Jesus' past three years:  the helpless healed, the demon-possessed delivered, the rotting raised, the rejected restored, and the sinner saved.  But Mary's soaring soul began a gradual descent as she remembered Jesus' words about His eminent death:
"The Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and the teachers of the law.  They will condemn Him to death and will turn Him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified.  On the third day He will be raised to life!"
I know our time with him is short, she thought.  I can't bear the thought of losing him, and yet, I know that is why he came.  That is what He has taught us all along.  My heart is so heavy.  What can I do to honor Him?
Mary's mind traveled to another incident in Jesus' life.  She had not witnessed it personally, but savored it as one of her most favorite moments in the recounting of Jesus' adventures: the day a sinful woman interrupted another dinner party Jesus attended.  She walked right into the home of a Pharisee, brushed past all the men, knelt at Jesus' side, washed His feet with her tears and anointed them with costly nard.
Suddenly, she knew what she had to do.
"Martha, I'll be right back," Mary called.
Mary ran home and went to the secret place where her most valuable treasure was stored.  She reached on the top shelf and lifted the priceless jar of pure nard - a costly perfume.  Mary had been saving it for her own wedding, but now she wanted to use it for her one true love.  I want to honor Jesus.  He has welcomed me as a disciple, loved me like a sister, taught me as a student, and given my brother back to me from the grave.  It is the least I can do.  I know His time is short.  I want to honor Him now.
Beaming with anticipation, Mary ran back to Simon's home with passion and purpose.  This time, the disciples were not shocked at a woman's entrance into the room of men.  After three years, they had grown accustomed to Jesus' welcoming ways.
Mary carefully moved through the room and hit her mark.  She stopped where Jesus reclined at the table and knelt at his feet.  With a snap, she broke the neck of the alabaster jar and poured its contents on Jesus' head and feet.  Something stirred inside Mary as she anointed Jesus' body.  A knowing.
Then Mary unbound her hair and wiped the excess from Jesus' calloused feet.  The sweet fragrance filled the room and clung to those nearby.  Once they realized where the scent was coming from, a buzz of comments swarmed like the hum of bees.  Some looked on with understanding approval.  Some turned up their noses in pious protest.
"What a waste," one of the disciples complained.  "That perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
Mary's heart sank at the unwelcome comment, but Jesus quickly buoyed her spirit with encouraging words.  "Why are you bothering this woman?" he asked while placing his hand on her head.  "She has done a beautiful thing to me.  You'll always have the poor to take care of, but you will not always have Me here with you.  Don't you get it?  When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare Me for burial.  I tell you the truth," Jesus announced loud enough for all to hear, "wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what Mary has done will also be told."
Mary lifted her eyes to meet his and her heart spilled over with love.

Let's Pray 

Dear Lord, I want to be like Mary.  I want to worship You no matter what anyone thinks.  I want to praise You with all I've got and not be concerned if anyone thinks I am being extravagant or over-the-top.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn When Mary anointed Jesus with perfume, some of the on-lookers didn't approve.  Some thought she was being extravagant and over-the-top.   Has anyone ever ridiculed you because your worship was too demonstrative?
Have you ever looked down on someone else because you felt their worship was too demonstrative or emotional?
When it comes to worship, are you more concerned with what others think, or what God thinks? (I know I'm getting in your business now!)
What do you think God would say about a woman who praises Him with everything she has no matter what anyone else in the room thinks?  We don't have to go any further than this story to get an idea. Pin It