"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27"

Friday, December 3, 2010

Keeping your tongue

 

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 11~12

"The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool shall swallow him up."

Ecclesiastes 10:12

 

There are so many times that I have got to work on these verses.  So many times that I have been a little harsh with what I say to my husband and even to Maddie.  I have got to remember that what you say can stay with someone forever.  I still remember all the bad/harsh things that my dad and brother always said to me and I don’t want Maddie to have those kind of things to remember.  I want her to always remember that I spoke words of encouragement to her.

With my husband, I have to remember that I need to also keep my tongue.  Some of the things I come back with after he has said something to me, not meaning to hurt me but he does, so of course I just lash right back at him with what I know will hurt him.  I need to just walk away, go to the bedroom or somewhere quiet and pray for a way to deal with it.  To just let it go or to find the words to say what I am really wanting to say so he can know what I am really feeling.  We are both usually pretty good about apologizing for what we said but once it is out there…. the damage is already done.  There is forgiveness but forgetting is always the hardest part. 

God is the only one that can change me, help change my thinking, my words, help me to remain calm and not fuel an already heated argument with more hateful words.  I love my husband dearly and should remember his feelings at the time of our ‘discussions’ too.  Not just getting my point across.  Asking him what he needs, what I can do to be a better wife for him, what I can do to help him.  I just pray that our Father will help us both to be the best we can be, the best husband/wife and the best mother/father we can be.  We need to concentrate on making our Father happy first and then the rest will fall into place.

For the past couple of days I have been getting emails from some blogs I subscribe to and almost all of them were about watching what you say, how you speak to others, or just being quiet and praying about something.   So thanks God!  I get it!  I know I need to work on this a little more, it’s me who needs to work on things too not just Shane. 

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1 comment:

MTJ said...

Hi Nicole,

I enjoyed reading this post! I think all of us face the same issue you discuss here. It's strange how the tongue is fueled by our emotions. I believe that's why James wrote:

"Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth." (James 3:9-10, NLTB)

I think it helps me to recognize that certain responses, phrases or words serve as triggers to my emotions, engaging me to respond in a way that only serves to fuel more emotions. I'm especially vulnerable when I'm physically tired. If I'm able to recognize that, I'm tired, hungry, frustrated, irritable, disappointed, or discouraged, it helps for me to acknowledge it and then ask God why am I ________? Some times the answer comes so quickly, it feels like I've been given a spiritual slap on the back of my head.

I think it's also important to express that what I said was wrong and hurtful.

Even when I don't recognize my triggers until after I've opened my big mouth, it's still important to say, "I'm sorry for what I said."

Blessings and peace.

MTJ

BTW: I like how you've decorated the place. I kinda miss the Freedom logo image, but I get the Christmas theme which is so very cool.

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