A letter to my husband

*image found from google search

Loving Man,

I am so happy that when I look at you I can still feel like a newlywed wife.  I get so happy and excited when I see you!  So thankful that love and excitement is still there!!  Thank you for all that you have done, for putting up with me when I wasn’t worth putting up with.  Thank you for your patience with me, for letting me find myself.

I am so proud to have you as my husband, so honored that you chose me! You are truly an amazing man with so many gifts! You can look at pretty much anything and see what needs to be done to fix it! When you can’t you simply read the manual and it gets fixed! Something I could never do. You say you hate reading but you just hate to read normal books, when it comes to history or anything you are passionate about, you will study on it and learn all there is to know about it! I love that about you!

I love how gentle you are.. not just with me, but how gentle you can be with our daughter.  I thought I would be the gentle one and you would be the rougher one but a majority of the time it’s the other way around!  I thank you for that, for being gentle with her when I’m not.  We compliment ourselves in our parenting.  Where you are stronger I am weaker and the other way around.  We are truly blessed to have such an amazing little girl!

Thank you for letting me learn what it means to truly love God, to put Him first because that is what He wants!  That is what has changed me in so many ways.  I have learned that by submitting to you I am submitting to the Lord.  The things I thought I needed I don’t really need.  They were just simply selfish little wants.  Do I really need another top or purse to go with my fifteen others that I don’t use or wear?  No, I don’t.

What I truly needed was to let you be the leader of this house, of this relationship and stop trying to blindside you all the time.  Stop trying to get my way in everything like a little child!  To learn to take responsibility for my mistakes and not try to worm my way out of it by blaming someone or something else.

I love the fact that you are strong enough to hold your tongue.  That you never complain about anything!  You are such a strong man in so many ways, but holding your tongue in so many situations shows me how really strong you are!

So many times you could have said more than you did, like I unfortunately did to you way too often, but you restrained.  You were strong enough to just walk away, when I just thought you were being mean by not wanting to settle it then and there.  You didn’t want to put up with anymore screaming and yelling and say something you might regret. 

Please forgive me Shane for all the things I said to you and have done in the past.  Words hurt just as much as anything else.  They are life and death in a marriage.
I am so thankful for all the changes that we have had to go through to get where we are.  They have made our marriage stronger and made us as individuals a lot stronger too. 

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the past mistakes I have made and so thankful for your support in helping me grow into a stronger woman, wife and mother!  You were my best friend before we got together, and will always be my best friend.  I love you honey more than you will ever know!

Love you, always & forever
Nicole

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Letting Him Lead

Ever since we rededicated our lives to the Lord, I’ve been waiting on my husband to lead us, waiting on our marriage to evolve. So many times I have prayed about my husband “stepping up” and being the leader of our home. I’ve prayed that God would show me what I need to do to be a better wife and be what He and my husband want.

I guess for so long I only thought I was submitting. I was submitting, but I was still complaining about it, so my heart really wasn’t submitted.  I still deterred everything he did or said because it wasn’t what I would do.

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. ~ Matthew 12:34

To read more of this wonderful post check out The Imperfect Wives where I guest wrote this weekend. 

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God doesn’t have favorites

*Image from Free Digital Photos

I was praying for some friends the other day, praying hard, kind of begging for them.. then God told me, “I don’t show favoritism” 
I started kind of laughing.. I knew that, but still went ahead and asked anyways… but afterwards I understood. 

For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe~ Deuteronomy 10:17 NKJV

We all want the ones we love to be healed, whether it be physically, spiritually or mentally.  We always want the best for our loved ones.  It is kind of frustrating sometimes that He doesn’t show favoritism, but then again it is a good thing, because otherwise He’d probably just pass me over!  lol

Our God is an amazing God!  He loves ALL of us, no matter what!  He wants the best for us and sometimes the circumstances are just that… circumstances.  We grow because of our trials, we have to be the ones that chose to grow stronger because of them.  This is how He teaches us.. disciplines us as children.  Instead of pulling away from God, we must chose to grow closer to Him!

How great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  All who have this hope in Him purify themselves, just as He is pure.

~ 1 John 3:1-3 NIV

He will give us the rest we need, the peace we seek, once we finally decide to let go and leave it all at His feet.  Then we will have peace.  Trusting is so hard sometimes, us being human, we want to control everything.  God is the One that needs to be in control in our lives.  When we fully rely on God then that is when things go the best!

Then Jesus said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28 NLT

So my prayer for today is this…

Father I want to thank You for not having favorites, that You love each and everyone of us the same!  That in doing this, no one is left getting less from You or more from You.  I pray that I will continue to have the strength to fully lay it down, lay it down before You.  Please Lord, help me to continue to trust in You so that I can grow stronger and closer to You!  Thank You Lord for loving us all so much, none of us deserve such love but You lavish us with it anyways!  Thank You Lord for making everything new every morning!  For giving us so many chances, and thank You that You never stop loving us!
In Your loving name, Amen!

Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. ~James 4:8 NLT

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Serving Joyfully

Now I have to admit there are times I don’t do this.  Times I am mumbling under my breath as I watch my hubby kick back & watch the race, or football game.  When I watch my daughter run around playing & destroying what I just cleaned up. 

I feel like I have no time for myself & worse, no time or me and my Father!  I have to remind myself to be joyful.  These are the ones that the Lord gave me.  The Lord knows I am a list maker, scheduler & have to know what is coming next.

So for Him to give me a husband, and daughter, that is TOTALLY opposite, the fly by the seat of your pants type, I believe He did this to help teach me.  Help teach me patience, endurance, help build my strength!  

I may not get the time I want with my Father but through this challenge, I am continuously talking to Him throughout my day.  Taking my grumblings to Him

Now don’t get me wrong, I still want to have my closet time & I am slowly getting that now that my daughter is in PreK.  God knows my heart, He know I long for ‘our’ time.  He knows that I do love my family, that I am thankful my daughter is healthy enough to run around, be loud and destroy things.  That my husband has a good job & works hard and loves that he can kick back & I will take care of the household stuff while he recharges.  It is his time to unwind and not worry about the outside problems. 

When I find that I am not serving as joyfully as I should, then I have to remind myself of all that we do have.  And that it is also alright for me to take time for myself without feeling guilty.  Time where I can replenish my spirit so I will come back & be more joyful as I serve! 

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ~ Matthew 6:6

Remember, even Jesus went off alone and prayed.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.~ Luke 5:16

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Submission is not a bad word!

 

*image from google image search

Ok, this post will probably be very random since my mind is always jumping around from one point to another so please bare with me!
Yes… I talk about submission a lot lately… mainly because it is a reminder for myself and because I want other wives, and everyone else, to see it is not bad! 
Submission… so many people make it out to be such a bad thing, and yes I used to be one that thought it was a bad word too.
Really, when we submit we are submitting to the Lord.  Love the translation below… like it is saying.. Hello… Wives… this is for YOU!

New Living Translation (©2007)
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ~Ephesians 5:22

Once I read this verse… showing that as we submit to our husbands we submit to the Lord
We need to work on not being easily offended, not being so defensive, but to submit and let go… to let God lead us in our decisions and in our reactions to things that are said or even not said.
We have to remember that our husbands are also God’s sons.  He loves them no matter what.  They are also going through the same kind of trials we are, struggling with doing what the Lord wants instead of what the world wants.
Our husbands have enough in the world to deal with... we should be the one person that will always be there for our husbands. To be that safe place for them to come to, to be themselves... to share their struggles and praises with. To be the one that will support them no matter what! They are the head of the household, as the Lord made them to be... wives need to work on submitting to them as to the Lord. It is something that is hard but will come in time with submitting to the Lord!
So.. submission isn’t about being run over… it is about letting our husbands take the lead, trusting him and trusting that the Lord will not let anything bad happen to us.  When we are submitting to our husbands we are submitting to the Lord!
With time and with discipline this will be something that will come naturally!  I am praying for this for myself… and can’t wait until that day!
The Lord will teach us, and gently show us the way…

New International Version (©1984)
because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son." ~Hebrews 12:6 (and to me He is also saying daughter)

Here’s some more posts I have done on submission.

Learning to be a good wife

One flesh

It’s my Birthday

 (not totally on submission but it is mentioned)

"Submit to God and be at peace with Him; in this way prosperity will come to you.~ Job 22:21

 

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. ~ 1 Peter 3:3-5

* this by all means doesn't mean if you are in an abusive relationship that you should submit and put up with that.  Submission is NOT a reason for someone to beat you!  Please don't take it that way.  

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Loving each other

* image from free digital photos

 

Concerning Married Life

¹ Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

~ 1 Corinthians 7: 1-7

I don’t even know how my husband and I started talking about how God see’s sex in marriage. He asked if He only meant for sex to be to reproduce.  I told him NO!  God made it for husband and wives, to love each other.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. ~Ephesians 5:31

He made it for marriage, yes He did want us to multiply but it is also used to bring the husband and wife closer together.  When we are closer to the Lord and doing what He wants, loving each other, then our love life is so much better!  When we are doing our best to make our spouses happy outside of the bedroom too then that makes Him so happy!  Our love life also blossoms from it! 

So… this is short and sweet.  God loves it when husbands and wives come together in love.  When we are truly doing it, thinking of the other one, that pleases the Lord. 

This might freak some out but God is happy when married couples show love to each other!  Don’t think of it as, “God’s watching us”  think of it as, “This pleases the Lord!!”

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Love Your husband

 

I love my husband dearly, I even like him so why do I sometimes judge him?

Romans 14:12-13(NKJV)

¹² So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. ¹³ Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

 

I don’t need to be the one that is putting my husband in chains, keeping him from being who he is.  Who God made him to be!  I shouldn’t be the one that makes him feel trapped, like he can’t come to me with whatever is on his mind because he is afraid I will judge him.  He has enough to fight out in the world, he doesn’t need to have that same thing at home.  I should be his safe place, where he wants to come to not run from as well.

To love my husband, unconditionally, is to love the Lord.  Our husbands are God’s sons too so when we love our husbands we are loving the Lord!! 

 

Romans 8:5 (NKJV)

⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.

  The more we love the Lord the closer we get to Him, we will be closer to our husbands and love our husbands more by doing this.

 

Deuteronomy 11:18 (NKJV)

¹⁸ “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

That is what God wants, for us to love Him and through that we will be more lovable to our husbands!!  In return, I am sure he will be loving us more too!! 

What could be better than that!?!

1 Peter 3:1-6 (NKJV)

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, ² when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

 

For more on this lovely topic please check out The Imperfect Wives on Blog Talk Radio

Romance 101

 

*image found through Google search

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Why I love my husband

Today I just thought I would share a few reasons why I love my husband Shane.  Nothing big just some simple reasons he means so much to me!!


 


I love my husband because, he loves me!  He loves me, even with all my faults!


I love my husband because, he is an amazing father.


I love my husband because, he is so smart!  His memory is amazing, and he just knows so much!!


I love my husband because, he works hard at his job.  He knows how to do his job and do it well.


I love my husband because, he is so handsome!


I love my husband because, he has a great sense of humor.


I love my husband because, he doesn’t let me get away with things!


I love my husband because, he helps out his friends when they need it.


I love my husband because, before coming to bed he puts down the toilet seat so if Maddie or I get up in the middle of the night we won’t fall in.  lol





I love my husband because he knows how to make me laugh.


I love my husband because he is a strong man but yet can be so gentle.


I love my husband because we have been through so much, he is always there when I need him the most! 


I love my husband because I can talk to him about anything.


I love my husband because, we have our own secret language that others just don’t understand.


I love my husband because he is faithful and trusting and honest!


I love my husband just because…. because he is my best friend and because he is mine and I am his!!

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Faith, Love & Peace

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple.

~Psalm 27:4

Faith, now this is hard to explain to some that don’t have it.  Sometimes there are no words to describe it, all I can say is that I do have it and that I pray that I will never lose it.  That I will always have faith and always seek my Father, always love Him, trust Him and never leave Him again!  Because He NEVER left me! 

 

 

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 8:38-39

and then there is Love.  Now that is something that is easy to explain.  If you are talking about your husband, kids or family, but again, to some they don’t understand the love for Christ or His love for us!  To me sometimes it is a very intimate thing.  Not like a lot of people think.  He is the one that I can go to when I need anything, He helps me through so much and gives me such peace.  I have never really known this kind of love before.  A love where is it totally unconditional, nothing like with my husband but a  love that so holy!  When things are going bad at home, just not getting the love from family that I need I can always turn to my Father for that.  I know it sounds weird, but when I feel like I am not being heard, accepted, supported, I can just dive into His words and I get such comfort from that!  Just by reading His words and His promises to me! 

That is Love!

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ~ Philippians 4:7

Peace… that is what comes from having the things I listed above.  There is no describing it to nonbelievers or someone, like I used to be, that says they are a Christian, but still doesn’t have that relationship.  I never knew this peace really existed before!  Whenever my husband and I get into arguments, which are coming fewer and fewer I used to just go and cry.  Don’t get me wrong I still do cry but now I cry out to our Lord.  It seems like as soon as I do, as soon as I ask, “What am I doing that is so wrong?  How can I be better for him and for You?”  There is this calm that comes over me.  Even when I don’t hear Him answer back, like this warmth, like a powerful arm around me telling me I am doing right by Him.  That I am at least understanding now that it isn’t always about my husband, that I know that I have to change things as well.  That He knows I am trying so very hard to hold my tongue and just sit and think and pray about it before I reply.  He knows that I am trying because He knows everything about me!  and He still loves me!  Now that is such a peaceful place to be!!  No better feeling than to know that He loves you and that you are beautiful to Him and are doing just fine!

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There’s nothing like family and friends

This weekend was a pretty busy one.  We went to my mom’s Birthday dinner in Enid and had a great time.  They were celebrating mom’s birthday and one of her friends birthday’s together.  The food was alright but the company was great.  It was nice to get together with the family.  My Aunt came down from Kansas for the night too!  Maddie had a great time visiting with her uncle, great aunt and great grandparents and of course the grammies and friends! 
Unfortunately the food made my mom, aunt and hubby sick during the night.  Shane didn’t get to come to church with us and right before leaving a friend of mine invited us to come and eat lunch, after church, with her family!  We had a blast!  Maddie loves being around all those kids and enjoys playing with the other Maddy.  The have such a good time together when they aren’t fighting like sisters! lol  My friend Kathy has 2 brothers and a sister and each of them have 2 kids so that makes for a lot of noisy fun!  Maddie just loves her ‘Uncle’ Mike and playing with him too. 

Nothing like a great day at church and then some wonderful ‘family’ time!  Thanks so much to the family that has adopted us as one of their own!!

“The love of a family is life's greatest blessing”

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–12

 

When we consider the blessings of God—the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even suffering – friendship is very near the top."

—Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth

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Clay Balls

I can't take credit for this, I got it in an email from my mom but I just love it because it is so true!!  

I Thank God for all of you!!

Clay  Balls        
A man was exploring caves by the Seashore.  In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls.  It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to
bake.  They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him.  As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.  

He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock .  Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! 

Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls.  Each contained a similar treasure.  He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.   

Then it struck him.  He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves.  Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!  

It's like that with people.  We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel.  It doesn't look like much from the outside.  It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it.  

We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy.  But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.  

There is a treasure in each and every one of us.  If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth. 

  
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.   
  I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with you.  Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel. 

APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE

THING YOU HAVE, ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS!

LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND FRIENDS ARE TOO FEW!

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Learning to walk & talk again.

Had this scheduled for Sat but most of you know that story.. just figured I would go ahead and post it now..  trying to do things to get my mind off of things right now.

Some of you know my story but for those of you that don't I wrote about it here....This is my Story and here
Things have just been clicking with me lately and it is so amazing.  I have been doing my best to make sure I am doing my bible study, trying to read the Bible too, which I have still never finished, and just trying to learn everything I can.  I am so thankful for all the other Christian blogs out there that have kept me strong in this new walk.

Coming back to God is kind of like being a newborn.  Everything is exciting, so new!  It's like learning to talk and walk again.  Some days there are struggles and other days I just want to run around like a little giggling infant so happy and not really having a reason for it other than the wonderful peace and happiness I have finally found!  Wow!  What took me so long?  Why did I fight so much and never really just truly give myself over to Him?  Yeah at Falls Creek I got saved and really tried back then but it was nothing like it is now!  Plus back then I was always so much more worried about what other people thought of me instead of caring what God thought of me.  It should totally be the other way around!!  Everything you do should be for God not for man!!!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Colossians 3:23
Here's a verse that really does describe what it was like for me before...
New Living Translation (©2007)"I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to Himself through the loving mercy of Christ. You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News" Galatians 1:6


But just this past year, yep took me about 15 years, so sorry about that God!, I finally started getting back into church, finally found a church I love, and opening my heart, eyes, ears to The Lord!  Told Him that I was going to need some help and if He would please just teach me, come into my heart, I am Yours to do as You please!  Oh, don't get me wrong, I can still be that ignorant rebellious child that just doesn't want to listen!  This new walk is definitely hard sometimes.  I find if I don't wake up with some small or big prayer and if I don't do my studies, just kind of go on living as usual, not keeping Him up front in my mind and heart then things seem to go a little crazy!  I have to get that checked and stop it because that is just giving satan that foothold he needs to pull me right back down where he wants me to be.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

So yes, there is always that constant battle going on between God, myself and the devil.  At least so far God has won!!  He is always there to listen when I start getting that feeling I am doing wrong, not being a good mom, a tentative wife, not keeping the house perfect, I just have to pray about it and not get so down and depressed.  It is the devil whispering to me that I am not good enough but God knows I am!  He is the one that said,

  ^"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I tend to turn to this verse constantly!  I even have it on a coin purse I made at ArtsCow
I love that verse because there are times when I wonder what I am doing, why am I here because it seems I can never do anything right... you know all the stuff the devil loves to hear?  If I go back to that verse and remember that God had a plan for us from the very beginning and if I just leave it up to Him and go with it then I will be fine!  That is something I do have to keep reminding myself almost everyday too.  Learning to just give up that control I love and just let go and let God.  I used to ask how am I supposed to do that and I am learning everyday, little by little just how to do that and to not worry about it so much.  Just have some faith in that part.  It is so easy to have that Faith in our Father and not in myself.  That is kind of disrespectful to The Lord because He doesn't create junk!  lol

Ok, sorry, this may not have flowed well, but was just something that came to mind and I just wanted to type it all out before it left and I got side tracked with food in the carpet, paint on the table, finding an apple left under a blanket and all the wonderful joys of being a mom! Pin It