Move, get out of the way!

Moving and getting out of the way… normally this is not a problem for me until it comes to giving up control.

What I mean by that is by getting out of the way I am handing control over to God.  Most people would say this should be no problem, but for those that know me, they know how hard that is for me.  Even if it is to our Lord.

Until I learned to give it all to God I didn’t really have any peace.  Even in our marriage, which I always thought was good, wasn’t really. 

Submitting.. that is the same thing.  Whether I am submitting to God or my husband, its all the same thing.  Submitting to my husband is what our Lord wants.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ~ Ephesians 5:22 (NLT)

It is that last part that makes me able to do it easier, just wish it wouldn’t have taken so long for me to figure that part out.

When I finally moved and got out of Shane’s way did I really let him start leading our family.  I started really trusting in him to lead our family.  After all I trust him with my life why not with what he thinks is best with our family?  Why was that part so hard?

I guess it was because I thought I would lose my voice, my opinions wouldn’t matter, but when I finally submitted that is when I felt Shane really started listening to me more.  (he always listened but this time I wasn’t as catty and demanding about my opinions.)

Our marriage hasn’t been this good in a long time!  Submitting isn’t that bad people, it’s really not!  Doesn’t mean he sits around and orders me around, it means I let him be the man that God made him to be!  And in turn our marriage is growing because of it!!

This was my verse of the year.. and so far I am having a peaceful life.  Just gotta do what the verse says!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.~ John 14:27

 

*images from google search

although Shane never did the top picture, this is what I bet he felt like doing!!
I was searching for a picture of a man pushing a woman behind him, kinda like this picture, just not with someone else attacking them.  lol

And I have used this one before and really love it!

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A letter to my husband

*image found from google search

Loving Man,

I am so happy that when I look at you I can still feel like a newlywed wife.  I get so happy and excited when I see you!  So thankful that love and excitement is still there!!  Thank you for all that you have done, for putting up with me when I wasn’t worth putting up with.  Thank you for your patience with me, for letting me find myself.

I am so proud to have you as my husband, so honored that you chose me! You are truly an amazing man with so many gifts! You can look at pretty much anything and see what needs to be done to fix it! When you can’t you simply read the manual and it gets fixed! Something I could never do. You say you hate reading but you just hate to read normal books, when it comes to history or anything you are passionate about, you will study on it and learn all there is to know about it! I love that about you!

I love how gentle you are.. not just with me, but how gentle you can be with our daughter.  I thought I would be the gentle one and you would be the rougher one but a majority of the time it’s the other way around!  I thank you for that, for being gentle with her when I’m not.  We compliment ourselves in our parenting.  Where you are stronger I am weaker and the other way around.  We are truly blessed to have such an amazing little girl!

Thank you for letting me learn what it means to truly love God, to put Him first because that is what He wants!  That is what has changed me in so many ways.  I have learned that by submitting to you I am submitting to the Lord.  The things I thought I needed I don’t really need.  They were just simply selfish little wants.  Do I really need another top or purse to go with my fifteen others that I don’t use or wear?  No, I don’t.

What I truly needed was to let you be the leader of this house, of this relationship and stop trying to blindside you all the time.  Stop trying to get my way in everything like a little child!  To learn to take responsibility for my mistakes and not try to worm my way out of it by blaming someone or something else.

I love the fact that you are strong enough to hold your tongue.  That you never complain about anything!  You are such a strong man in so many ways, but holding your tongue in so many situations shows me how really strong you are!

So many times you could have said more than you did, like I unfortunately did to you way too often, but you restrained.  You were strong enough to just walk away, when I just thought you were being mean by not wanting to settle it then and there.  You didn’t want to put up with anymore screaming and yelling and say something you might regret. 

Please forgive me Shane for all the things I said to you and have done in the past.  Words hurt just as much as anything else.  They are life and death in a marriage.
I am so thankful for all the changes that we have had to go through to get where we are.  They have made our marriage stronger and made us as individuals a lot stronger too. 

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the past mistakes I have made and so thankful for your support in helping me grow into a stronger woman, wife and mother!  You were my best friend before we got together, and will always be my best friend.  I love you honey more than you will ever know!

Love you, always & forever
Nicole

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Giving your all

The Holy Spirit took me aside that day and began to convict me and remind me to praise my husband for giving me what he can: “He may not be as good a handyman or mechanic as other husbands, but could you praise him for giving all he has? I know those aren’t big deal, but sometimes that’s all he has. It’s those times when he’s giving you more than all the others.

*Excerpt from: One Year Book of Devotions for Couples by Teresa Ferguson

How many times have we as wives been jealous over someone else’s husband?  How many times have wished our husband did this or that like so and so’s husband?  Those thoughts are such condemning thoughts and not commending thoughts. 

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” ~Exodus 20:16

Even though some of those thoughts are not spoken they are still thought, they are still in our hearts and minds.  They are ‘speaking’ such condemning words over our husbands!! 

My husband, Shane, loves me and I know this.  I have always known he wasn’t a touchy feely person and doesn’t easily express his emotions but the things he does is his way of showing his love.  He is giving me his all!! 

He is a wonderful handyman, can fix pretty much anything household or even vehicle wise.  He is always making sure that my truck, which is a gorgeous 1997 Chevy that I love, is always in tip top shape!  With him doing that, doing the maintenance it needs, it has never left me stranded or gave me a feeling that it wouldn’t be able to bring me and my daughter home safe.  That is Shane giving me his all…

Shane loves me and does his best to provide for this family and protect this family. That is his way of showing how much he loves us!! That is him, giving us everything he has!!

“Truly I tell you,” He said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others.  All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” ~ Luke 21:3,4

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Letting Him Lead

Ever since we rededicated our lives to the Lord, I’ve been waiting on my husband to lead us, waiting on our marriage to evolve. So many times I have prayed about my husband “stepping up” and being the leader of our home. I’ve prayed that God would show me what I need to do to be a better wife and be what He and my husband want.

I guess for so long I only thought I was submitting. I was submitting, but I was still complaining about it, so my heart really wasn’t submitted.  I still deterred everything he did or said because it wasn’t what I would do.

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. ~ Matthew 12:34

To read more of this wonderful post check out The Imperfect Wives where I guest wrote this weekend. 

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The Imperfect Wives challenge

 

This challenge is from The Imperfect Wives, if you would like to know more about them you can go to their website, or facebook page.  They are an amazing bunch of women!

STP: Speaking The Positive

Wives, your challenge for this week is: to Speak The Positive about your spouse!

What is in your heart?  Read these verses:

Matthew 12:33-37  “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Are you willing to speak God's truth and God's will for your husband no matter what you can see and hear with your natural eyes and ears?  Abraham believed God's promises despite his circumstances.  He received what he believed from God and it was credited to him as righteousness! 

Read about it here in Romans 4:16-25:

"Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all.  As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were. Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.  Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,  being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.  This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.”  The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification."

What are God's promises for your marriage and your husband?

Here are just a few:

1.  You are one flesh (Eph 5:31-32)

2.  You submit to your husband (Eph 5:22-24)

3.  Your husband loves you.  (Eph 5:25-28)

4.  Your husband gives himself for you (Eph 5:25-28)

5.  Your husband loves you as he loves his own body (Eph 5:28)

6.  You respect your husband (Eph 5:33)

7.  Your husband has full confidence in you.  (Pr 31:11)

8.  Your husband believes in Jesus and has eternal life. (John 3:16)

9.  Your husband is a royal priest, belongs to God, and declares God's praises.  (1 Pet 2:9)

10.  Your husband is rooted and established in love and is filled to the measure of all of the fullness of God.  (Eph 3:16-19)

So why STP?  Just a little association with STP fuel and oil additives.  These additives are meant to be part of "basic maintenance to help your vehicle run better, last longer, and be more fuel efficient."  Your marriage is your vehicle!  Who of us doesn't want our marriage to run better, last longer ('till death do us part!), and be more emotionally efficient?

As you put STP into your marriage, expect God's promises to be fulfilled!   Pin It

You have the power

You have the power to either give life to someone or kill them.  Our words, and even our thoughts, have the power to kill a persons spirit.  We all have the Holy spirit in us and we need to choose to love and bring life instead of death.

 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.~Proverbs 18:21 

I was reading 123 Magic for Christian Parents and came across the verse below.  It is in regards to our children and it is so true!  We have the ability to raise our children up with love, to not be so hateful, angry, killing them with our words or lack of words.  What we say to them will stick forever. It is our choice to love. 

The LORD gives His own reward for doing good and for being loyal, and I refused to kill you even when the LORD placed you in my power, for you are the LORD’s anointed one.~ 1 Samuel 26:23 New Living Translation (NLT)

This is also true of our husbands.  What we say to them, or don’t say to them can also kill their spirit.  We need to love them, to shower them with love and encouragement.  Build them up and it will build up their spirit and the marriage! 

So.. your choice is this…

Are you going to be the one that slowly kills your family?

Or are you going to be the one that will loves them, comforts them, builds them up and feeds their spirit?

  

Don’t forget to join in on the

16-Day Love Challenge

*there is also a tab in my pages at the top of the blog


also linking up with

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10 ways to pray for our Husbands

Just wanted to share another wonderful Pinterest find.  It is amazing to see all the Christians on Pinterest!  Seeing His word spread and shared with everyone!

 

Click the picture above for the link to the site

Here’s the pdf link.. pdf Download

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How to change your husband

 

*image from Google search

 

HUH!?!  You can do that!?!  Nope… only God can!

When I first rededicated I wanted to do everything I could to make my Father happy,  I prayed and asked what I could do to make Him happy and how I could be a better wife to Shane.

I started reading The Power of A Praying Wife.  When I first started that book I was so shocked that she would tell me I needed to start with myself first!  WHAT!?!  But he is the one that needs to change!

After I finally soaked it in and prayed about it then I understood.  you can only change yourself, not your spouse.  Only through God & prayer can your spouse change.

Now I am still working on this, every single day.  Praying that He will help me not be so defensive, that He will help me to understand that my husband loves me & when he snaps at me it’s not always about me, it’s something else he is dealing with. 

So all you can do is pray.  Pray for strength and guidance, pray that the Lord will help you to let go and let Him have control.  Let Him take care of your spouse.  Let Him be the one to soften his heart. 

Pray for help to change yourself, to serve joyfully and not begrudgingly.  Pray for wisdom and for strength continuously!

While you are waiting to see His glory, then you can always have the Lord as your spouse.  He will be there to lift you up, give you encouragement and comfort.  Just rest in His arms and find peace in Him!

For your Maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, He is called the God of all the earth. ~Isaiah 54:5

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Wonderful Post from The Imperfect Wives

 

Living with an Unbelieving Husband

Many wives are married to an unbelieving husband. I used to be one of them. The reason I'm using the word "unbelieving" is because this is just what Bill was. He did not believe the Bible is God's Word. He felt that the Bible was filled with good stories that could help a person learn and grow to be a better human being, but did not believe each detail was true or relevant for today.

Can you imagine my heart as the beats multiplied with each conversation we had on this subject?

Doubt would fill my soul. Urgency to see his salvation come would lead me to damage the work God had already done in his heart, the work I could not see.  Each conversation left me in a pool of despair for my husband.

I had to learn how to talk to Bill and what God wanted me to do as a godly wife.

I had to learn fast. Each word I spoke had the power to sow life or death into Bill and my marriage...and I had already sown enough death.

to read the rest please head over and check them out.

Living with an unbelieving husband

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Don’t Give Up!

Ladies, don’t give up!! 

We have to fight to keep that love alive in our marriages.  Remember back to when we were so deeply in love with our husbands, how we were so excited to see them, we took the time to put on makeup, to fix ourselves up and care what we looked like because we knew that would be pleasing to him. 

Remember the good things about him, why it was we first fell in love with him, how we loved to be near them, to touch them and kiss them! 

Stop focusing on the things that annoy us and start remembering why we fell in love with him!!

God put us together for a reason.  He never said it would be easy but He promised to be there with us! 

When we are having problems in our marriage we need to go to the Lord first.  Pray for our husbands and pray for ourselves.  Pray for strength and wisdom to do what the Lord wants us to do.

Just never give up!  When we go back to the way it was when we were first together, where he could do no wrong, we talked him up to our friends and family.  He was (and still is) our strong man that we loved, trusted in, confided in, and wanted his help and advice in everything.  That is what will help our marriages, to soften his heart again and make him remember those days too!! 

Love is a gift from God.  We love because He first loves us.  We also love our husbands because they love us!  Remember that and don’t give up!

Please just don’t leave them, pray for them and for yourself. 

 

This may not mean much to some but it is what I was given for a friend of mine. 

Malachi 2:14-16

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ Yet you say, “For what reason?”
      Because the LORD has been witness
      Between you and the wife of your youth,
      With whom you have dealt treacherously;
      Yet she is your companion
      And your wife by covenant.
¹⁵ But did He not make them one,
      Having a remnant of the Spirit?
      And why one?
      He seeks godly offspring.
      Therefore take heed to your spirit,
      And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
¹⁶ “ For the LORD God of Israel says
      That He hates divorce,
      For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
      Says the LORD of hosts.
      “ Therefore take heed to your spirit,
      That you do not deal treacherously.”

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Loving each other

* image from free digital photos

 

Concerning Married Life

¹ Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

~ 1 Corinthians 7: 1-7

I don’t even know how my husband and I started talking about how God see’s sex in marriage. He asked if He only meant for sex to be to reproduce.  I told him NO!  God made it for husband and wives, to love each other.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. ~Ephesians 5:31

He made it for marriage, yes He did want us to multiply but it is also used to bring the husband and wife closer together.  When we are closer to the Lord and doing what He wants, loving each other, then our love life is so much better!  When we are doing our best to make our spouses happy outside of the bedroom too then that makes Him so happy!  Our love life also blossoms from it! 

So… this is short and sweet.  God loves it when husbands and wives come together in love.  When we are truly doing it, thinking of the other one, that pleases the Lord. 

This might freak some out but God is happy when married couples show love to each other!  Don’t think of it as, “God’s watching us”  think of it as, “This pleases the Lord!!”

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Love Your husband

 

I love my husband dearly, I even like him so why do I sometimes judge him?

Romans 14:12-13(NKJV)

¹² So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. ¹³ Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

 

I don’t need to be the one that is putting my husband in chains, keeping him from being who he is.  Who God made him to be!  I shouldn’t be the one that makes him feel trapped, like he can’t come to me with whatever is on his mind because he is afraid I will judge him.  He has enough to fight out in the world, he doesn’t need to have that same thing at home.  I should be his safe place, where he wants to come to not run from as well.

To love my husband, unconditionally, is to love the Lord.  Our husbands are God’s sons too so when we love our husbands we are loving the Lord!! 

 

Romans 8:5 (NKJV)

⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.

  The more we love the Lord the closer we get to Him, we will be closer to our husbands and love our husbands more by doing this.

 

Deuteronomy 11:18 (NKJV)

¹⁸ “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

That is what God wants, for us to love Him and through that we will be more lovable to our husbands!!  In return, I am sure he will be loving us more too!! 

What could be better than that!?!

1 Peter 3:1-6 (NKJV)

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, ² when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

 

For more on this lovely topic please check out The Imperfect Wives on Blog Talk Radio

Romance 101

 

*image found through Google search

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Why I love my husband

Today I just thought I would share a few reasons why I love my husband Shane.  Nothing big just some simple reasons he means so much to me!!


 


I love my husband because, he loves me!  He loves me, even with all my faults!


I love my husband because, he is an amazing father.


I love my husband because, he is so smart!  His memory is amazing, and he just knows so much!!


I love my husband because, he works hard at his job.  He knows how to do his job and do it well.


I love my husband because, he is so handsome!


I love my husband because, he has a great sense of humor.


I love my husband because, he doesn’t let me get away with things!


I love my husband because, he helps out his friends when they need it.


I love my husband because, before coming to bed he puts down the toilet seat so if Maddie or I get up in the middle of the night we won’t fall in.  lol





I love my husband because he knows how to make me laugh.


I love my husband because he is a strong man but yet can be so gentle.


I love my husband because we have been through so much, he is always there when I need him the most! 


I love my husband because I can talk to him about anything.


I love my husband because, we have our own secret language that others just don’t understand.


I love my husband because he is faithful and trusting and honest!


I love my husband just because…. because he is my best friend and because he is mine and I am his!!

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10 Things you will continually hear

... at the Imperfect Wives.

1. Husbands "always" need a safe place to land. We can't stress this enough. Learn to be this place for them. Give them a reason to want to turn around.

2. When you are wrong in the situation alwaysbe quick to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

3. Never underestimate the power you have in your prayers! You have entered a covenant with God in your marriage. He hears your prayers.

4. Someone once said, "Let consequences do their job." Both sides need to learn from mistakes. Though you may want to pull a "Madea" on your husband, let the Holy Spirit hit him on the head. He will always do a much better job chastising him than you will.

5. When in doubt, always turn to the Bible for answers. Our heart here at The Imperfect Wives is to always point you right back to Jesus in every circumstance.

6. DO NOT RUN! Don't run when things get tough. Instead, dig those cute feet of yours in even deeper, not giving satan a chance at your marriage.

7. Always, always, always guard your heart.The enemy is always looking for a weak spot to enter in.

8. Be willing to open your heart to others in the same situation you are in. God wants to use you right where you are and both marriages will be blessed for this.

9. Always keep the lines of communication open between you and husband.

10. Don't Give Up! The Holy Spirit is always at work in your prayers. Though your circumstances may indicate otherwise, you never know when God is about to turn your husband's heart around. Amen!
Doing these 10 things will cultivate the same beauty and fragrance in your marriage the pink roses represent!

We love you guys and are praying for each of your marriages,

Cherie

"Want to always receive what we are teaching here at The Imperfect Wives? Subscribe to our post by adding your email in our "subscribe" feed on the top right of our wall and never miss a thing."

 

*Post was written by Cherie over at
The Imperfect Wives

go check them out! 

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Our Father fights for us!

 

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

~ Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

God will never leave us and will always be there for us.  It is amazing that He will go ahead of us and never abandon us!!  This means so much, especially when we are fighting for our marriages!
I just wanted to share some strong verses that have meant a lot to me in the past and I hope that it will help others out that are struggling to find some peace in their lives, marriages and homes.

God bless you all, keep standing!  Stand strong!

 

No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
      And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
      You shall condemn.
      This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
      And their righteousness is from Me,”
      Says the LORD. ~ Isaiah 54:17

 

Through You we will push down our enemies;
         Through Your name we will trample those who rise up against us.
For I will not trust in my bow,
         Nor shall my sword save me.
But You have saved us from our enemies,
         And have put to shame those who hated us.
In God we boast all day long,
         And praise Your name forever.  Selah

~Psalm 44:5-8

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.~ Romans 8:26

No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. ~Joshua 1:5

 

Plans succeed through good counsel; don't go to war without wise advice.
~ Proverbs 20:18

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AAA Club of Marriage by Sharon Jaynes

I got another wonderful devotional from Girlfriends in God the other !day and just wanted to share it with everyone!  They always have just great devotionals!

 

February 1, 2011
AAA Club of Marriage
Sharon Jaynes
Today's Truth
"And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband-that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly" (Ephesians 5:33 Amplified).
Friend To Friend
Are you a member of the Triple A Club of Marriage?  You didn't know there was such a thing?  Well, there's not an official one that you can call if your marriage breaks down, but I have one that I keep in the back of my mind.  It stands for adoration, admiration, and appreciation.  Did you know that big tough man of yours longs to be admired?  He desires for someone to think he's brave and brilliant, loving and logical, tough and tender, handsome and humorous, masculine and magical. That's the stuff of your man's dreams.   
What does it mean to adore your husband?  Basically, it means to love him with all your heart...and let him know about it. Someone once said, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved."   Do you want to see your husband's face light up like a full moon?  Tell him you are amazed that he knows how to ________ or that you are impressed by his _______, then sit back and watch him glow.
When the TV cameras pan the sidelines of a college football game, my heart always melts in a pool of butter when a young man waves his hand and says those precious two words: "Hi Mom."  It's almost like he's saying, "Look at me! Look at me!"  The truth is men want to be admired by the woman of their dreams.  It starts with mom, and then continues with the Misses.
Where does your husband go for adoration, admiration and appreciation?  He goes somewhere.  All men do.  Does he go to work in hopes of hearing "job well done"?  Does he go to the ball field in hopes of hearing "way to go man"?  Does he go back home to mother to hear "I'm so proud of you son"?  Does he work late in hopes of a few compliments from the gals in the office? Does he feast on compliments from patients or clients? Does he hang out at the gym flexing and building his biceps?  Tell me, where does your man go to be admired?
Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.  He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.  That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life.  Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband's existing achievements.  When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck.  A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.  For some men - those with fragile self-images - admiration also helps them believe in themselves.  Without it these men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings....While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them.  A man expects - and needs - his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan.  He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her." (Dr. Willard Harley, His Needs Her Needs (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Fleming H. Revell, 1986) p151.)
You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself.  So if he's looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership into the AAA Club of marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home. 
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be my husband's biggest fan.  Please help me restrain my critical tongue.  Help me to see him as You see Him...a child of the King.  I do so love my husband; help me to make sure that he knows just how much.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin giving them.  First and foremost, be authentic - be real.  If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell.  Start with one compliment or word of appreciation.  It may be as simple as "thank you." Soon the admiration will begin to flow...hopefully both ways.  Here are some ideas to get you started: 

• Place an "I love you sign in a public place." (I put a sign outside of my husband's office window to surprise him on Valentine's Day.  The fact that all his patients saw it was an extra boost!)
  
• Write him a love letter.
  
• Write an acrostic from A-Z of reasons you adore, admire, and appreciate him.
  
• Leave an "I love you" message on his voice mail.
  
• Write him a thank you note for something specific he did for you.

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